The Untitled: Story 1
by Siamese Surfer
Summary: The Untitled: :a book of Miscellaneous Random Stories Designed to make people rethink their views of life: For people who dont understand that, it is designed to make people laugh. Just finished! Zuko loses his diary, and stalks a 15 year old boy...
1. Part 1

NOTE: my first fan fic, I'm soo proud of myself. Review or…or…..um…never mind….

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of ATLA (Avatar: The Last Airbender). But I swear, I will own my own series someday!

_HAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA_

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Zuko walks into his quarters upon his ship. He flops down on his mattress, and reaches for the drawer on his nightstand. He feels around inside, it was empty! "No, what would anyone want THAT for!" Zuko runs around his cabin over turning every thing (which wasn't much considering they're pictures of the avatar) "AHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGG!"

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Meanwhile:

Iroh and the crew are huddled around a little square and whispering to themselves.

"I wonder what information it holds" Iroh picked up the square, really a book, and examined the titanium lock keeping them from opening it. "Maybe it will unlock the mysteries of life!" said one guard (supposedly on the job), taking it from Iroh. "Or maybe it knows where the Avatar lies?" said another, examining the book.

"DON'T BE SILLY YOU GUARDS! I KNOW WHAT IT HOLDS!" said Iroh taking the book and thrusting his arm out. There was a whisper of ooohs and aahhs, and one guard said 'What then, old man?'Iroh turned away from the guards with the book, and muttered "The secret location of the mythical Ginseng village" the guards chorused 'Wow, not the mythical village of the Ginseng?'

Smoke flooded out of the cabin lodging and a furious yell echoed, Iroh had just enough time to hide the book behind his back when Zuko rampaged out of the door. "Hasanyoneseenaredbookwithleatherbindingsandatitaniumlock?" He explained as he presumed turning over barrels and setting fire to each. "Um," mumbled another guard, and he finally came up with the perfect idea! "Hey, the Avatar, over there!" he said pointing to a place over the horizon.

"WHERE!" screamed Zuko, accidentally thrusting himself overboard. He hit the water, and in one breath he gasped, "HELP YOU DIMWITS! I CANT SWIM!" and he went under. Iroh slipped the book under a bald guard's helmet.

The ones aboard who were safe and dry turned around to do their normal duties. Iroh, however, throws a giant teabag overboard, and once it touched the water, expanded into a large raft.

Zuko, who's head appears above the water, screams "NOOOO NOT A TEABAG! I'LL NEVER TOUGH THAT THING! SEND ME A MANLY RAFT!" his head ducks under the water again and Iroh turns away. A hand grasps the Giant Inflatable Teabag (GIT). Zuko pulls himself upon the teabag and watches the aromatic brown liquid spread across the sea they were sailing. "Shoot, I was lucky to be born!" he says, covering his face with his hands. Now, how can he get off of this thing?

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Upon ship:

Iroh retrieved the book from the guard's helmet, and sits down and tries to pry the book open. "Now, where could he have hidden the key?". All of a sudden, there is a big 'pop', a fragrant smell of tea, and Zuko flying up into the air, along with burning pieces of teabag.

"SO YOU HAD IT THE WHOLE TIME! YOU….!" Zuko screams several curses that even I cant say aloud, bleeped out of course (a person with a big electronic machine is standing by to make any weird noises over cuss words).. He flings himself at Iroh, unfortunately aiming a little to the right and, again, thrusting himself over board. In his attempt to grasp a loose board on the ship, he ends up tearing a hole in the wall of the food storage. He lands in the water with the hunk of wood landing on top of him. A tiny bag falls out of the storage room and is swept toward land.

'Hm,' thought Iroh (amazing, he DOES think!) 'Zuko did seem to be guarding the kitchen lately…' (wait, what happened?)

A big purple flash, then a person with radio gear and a stethoscope appears. The man puts the stethoscope up to Iroh's head and tunes the radio. Iroh's thoughts slowly come in tune

'Of course! If I hadn't met that 'kitten' down on 8th street, I wouldn't have lost my honey-bunch shnooky-wookems. Then I could've killed Zuko and my son would be the heir! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA' (GAGS)

Iroh was looking of into the sunset and then realized a person had a stethoscope to his head. He whirled around all angry and such and said, "Ginseng tea?" he thrust a cup of tea into Jack's (a story employee, the one with the stethoscope thingy) hands, spilling scalding hot tea all over jack, "MOOOBEEPBEEPBAAAABEEEEPMEOWHONKBEPBEEEEEEEP" ('good job' thumbs up to the big machine bleeper dude yes, that's his name)

Jack hurls himself overboard, landing smack dab on the corner of the big hunk of wood. He turns the plank over, having it land on him, and reveling Zuko playing go-fish with a paddlefish. (like a swordfish, with the 'sword' being paddle-like) "huh?" Zuko looks around madly, takes the paddlefish and starts paddling in the direction of the bag.

Iroh looks around for Zuko's diary. He looks overboard and sees it is now attached to the bag (don't ask me, I don't direct this, I just write it down) Iroh exclaims, "NO! I WILL READ THAT DIARY IF IT IS THE SECOND TO LAST THING I'LL DO! (I'll die drinking tea)"

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Ready for more? Just tell me if you want the second part of story 1, or else I'll leave it where it is. reviews much appreciated.

-Shirakura


	2. Part 2

Here's part 2

(: this is me speaking. So don't get confused if you see this in the story:)

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of ATLA, I just own jack and the big machine bleeper dude. Oh, and Zuko fans don't kill me. More torture in part 3.

Here's the Aang Gang!

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Hmmmmmmmm… we left off Zuko and Iroh were trying to get to the waterproofed diary before the other.

On land:

"Yipeeeeeee!" "Get away from my head, you midget!"

Aang was flying around Sokka's head, when his short attention span turned his direction towards a bag and a book lying on the shore of a small island they were stopped on.

"OoOOooOoOOooOOOOhhhh! Lookey here! I wonder what this is!" Aang zoomed over to the bag avoiding the attempt from Katara to stop him.

"Stop, Aang! It could be a trap!" She exclaimed as she sped after him. "Go on, Aang, it could be a trap…" Sokka retorted as he begrudgingly followed Katara.

Aang plopped down on the sand and picked up the bag. "Hmmm… it looks like it once had tea in it. Here, Momo, sniff it to see where it came from!" Aang handed the bag to a willing Momo, but Katara snatched it away.

"Aang, this could be from some evil place!" She said, as she was about to throw the bag into the ocean. Something inside Jingled and she opened it. There was a little key attached to a key ring with a lot of key chains attached to it (: yes, I know, a lot of keys:). She picked up the bundle by a key chain, took a look at it, Screamed, and ran away yelling, "MY EYES, THEY BURN! WATER! WATER! MY EYES!"

Sokka looked after his sister with confusion; after all she is a waterbender. He took a look at the key chain and froze in his place, eyes bugging out and sweat dripping down his forehead.

"What's wrong with you guys? What…." Aang took one look at the key chain and didn't know whether to be horrified or downright drooling. The key chain was a model of this bubble-headed-blonde in a bikini with a button and the following words, 'Oops I Did It Again'. Sokka took a shaky look at Aang and took the bait. He hesitantly took several steps toward the key chain and pressed the button. What happened next was so 'Whoriffic' that it pains me to even write this down. The moment 'it' happened, Sokka and Aang hid behind the bushes. When the button is pushed, this awful music sounds:

"Oops, I did it again

I played with your heart,

Got lost in the game…"

Sokka finally had enough and ran towards the key chain (with his earplugs on; Actually meant for Aang), and quickly took it, unhooked it and thrust it into the ocean. The awful music took a while before it shorted out in the water. Sokka removed his earplugs and picked up the diary.

"Is it gone?" sounded Katara from behind a tree. "Yes" replied Sokka, turning around and inserting the key into the lock of the diary.

"NOOOOOO! SOKKA YOU IDIOT, IT COULD BE A TRAP!" Katara screamed and flung her arms around her older brother. "Get…. Off…. Of…ME!" said Sokka, Slightly muffled by Katara's hood.

"AWWW…sibling love!" Aang heckled as he took the diary from out of Sokka's mitten-hands.

Meanwhile, in Momo land:

Momo reaches out and sniffs the bag. He feels enlightened. He wants to do a dance for everyone! He could do anything! He could do anything….

Back in the ATLA world:

Aang plopped down and read the spine of the diary. It said in big gold letters:

ZUKO'S OWN PRIVATE DIARY. CONFIDENTIAL. DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE THE ALL MIGHTY ZUKO HIMSELF.

(: All mighty my ass! I'll die before that happens:)

Aang accidentally dropped the diary in his lap and it just 'happened' to fall open to the "hobbies" section. "Holy BACOCKMOOOBEEPSHOOMBAAA! EWW!" (: Thumbs up to the big machine bleeper dude. Yes, he followed me here.:)

There was a list of hobbies:

Porn

Following the Avatar

Dreaming of Kit-Kat (Katara)

Drinking tea

Following Jack

Ballet

(: NOO! NOT JACK TOO! POOR JACK:)

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Meanwhile, in the race against (: sniggers: ballet:) um, TIME:

Iroh looks through a telescope and sees the idiot water boy thrusting something into the water. It could be a bomb! "Change course men!"

Zuko leaves the paddlefish to do its own work and turns so he's facing Jack (with his shirt burnt, that tea was HOT. Oh and Jack is 15 with unseemingly messy brown hair)

"So, what are your hobbies?"

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Me here. Poor Jack. Wondering what happened to Momo? I am too. I will upload the 3rd part later. Please review. It helps me understand what audience I appeal to. GO BALLET! (: Sniggers: Zuko in a tutu:)

-Shirakura


	3. Part 3

Hello all, welcome to The Untitled: Story 1: Part 3. Make sure that you have a paper bag with you in case you hyperventilate.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of ATLA, yada yada yada, blah blah blah, yak yak yak, yawn yawn yawn, let's just get to the funnies, shall we?

Lets see, where were we? Ah, yes, NO JACK! SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE! (: Ahem:) Yes but what the hell happened to Momo?

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Aang had been swearing his head off at the list of hobbies. Sokka and Katara read over his shoulder. Katara turned pink, but all Sokka had to say was, " What's porn?" Katara fainted.

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"Well, I like listening to peoples thoughts, hanging out with Shirakura and co. (: I had to come in somewhere! W00T W00T:), and lets see…. Not being stranded on a hunk of wood with a paddlefish and a pathetic prince who cant even catch a hyperactive 12-year-old." Jack concluded. (: O.o:)

Zuko got all teary-eyed, lunged forward and grabbed Jack's hands. He whispered, "I can change! I can be anything you want me to be!"

(:GAGGING:)

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(:oooooooookay then lets get back to the Aang Gang, at least they aren't that disgusting:)

Aang stared bug-eyed at Sokka "You, um…er…don't…know?" Sokka shook his head. "No, what is it?" silence.

Katara woke up to a most disturbing sight. "EW! NO MOMO! THAT'S SICK!" and fainted again. Then the big machine bleeper dude fainted. (:OH MY GOD:) Sokka an Aang turned their attention to what Katara had been looking at.

It…was…. Momo…err….humping…a….turtle…

THUD THUD! Both Sokka and Aang fainted. (:I'm the only one standing:kicks Momo: God! Ewww. You sick perverted lemur:)

(: Wait… it's a... GUY turtle: Thud: I fainted…:)

My other associate, Kayla (: now she's a real person. She has an obsession with Zuko :sniggers: in a tutu:) will be 'covering' this. She will be more…um…"hands on" than I am….

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THE UNTITLED: KAYLA VERSION!

On the raft:

Zuko is getting closer and closer to Jack; Jack schooches farther and farther away from Zuko. AND NOW FOR: (HERO MUSIC) KAYLA!

Kayla appears in a poof of blue smoke next to the (:sniggers: lovely couple:) um… well you know what I mean.

"ZUKO! MY LOVELY ZUKO!" she runs toward Zuko, 'accidentally' knocking Jack overboard. She embraces Zuko VERY tightly, and before it gets any farther, I wake up and :poof: Kayla is gone.

BACK TO THE NORMAL VERSION

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on ship:

Iroh is closer to the shore than all mighty Zuko is (: Gags:) 'I can almost see the wait…they're all fainted? Can his diary be that bad?' he thought (: this time I have to do the stethoscope thingy. Every one is KO'd:) "Full speed ahead men!"

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On raft:

"Nooooo! JACK! DAMN THAT FUCKING FANGIRL! NOOO!" (: noo. The big machine bleeper dude is KO'd. damn…:)

Zuko weeps over his long lost new friend.

Meanwhile:

Jack is swimming toward shore, only to be greeted by……… A FLYING LEMUR IN A GRASS HULA SKIRT WITH A UKULELE! (:eww with a coconut bra, too:)

"NOOO!"

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On land: (:wait, weren't we already on land? I'm confuzzled:)

Sokka wakes up to see Momo in a hula get-up and wonders what the hell porn is….

Aang wakes up to see Momo in a hula get-up and wonders what the hell porn, him, Katara, and ballet have to do with a disgraced prince. Wait, now he does, Zuko was in exile too long….

Katara wakes up to see Momo in a hula get-up and wonders why she keeps fainting, her head hurts now. And who is that handsome guy screaming his head off at the sight of a high lemur…. (: GAGS: Jack, handsome? You've got to be kidding me:)

The big machine bleeper dude wakes up to see a post-It from me on his forehead that says: WHY THE HELL WERE YOU SLEEPING WHEN WE NEED YOU TO BLEEP OUT THOSE FUCKING BAD WORDS ZUKO USES? THANKS A BLOODY LOT

-Shirakura

He sighs and sees what other noises he can download from the Internet are…

Kit-Kat (Katara for those who doesn't know what Zuko calls Katara) starts to drool. Sokka asks again, "What's porn?" Kit-Kat faints again, Momo stops hula-ing, Jack stops screaming, and Aang stops contemplating the concept of 'gayness'.

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God, what a mischief-maker I am… I am sooooo gonna shoot Momo if he starts singing that awful hula music in that lemur voice of his. Please review.

-Shirakura


	4. Part 4

Welcome to The Untitled: Story 1: Part 4 the last part to the first story in the book of The Untitled. Very repetitive, I know. A new Story is coming up soon. Read my page to see a short summary of The Untitled: Story 2.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of ATLA. Remind me again why anyone would think that I created this? I have my own creations, and im only 13 for heaven's sake.

P.S. I am listening to Franz Ferdinand at the moment, so this might be a little wacky…

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So Katara is KO'd, Momo is in a grass skirt, vice versa…

Iroh steers the Git (a giant inflatable teabag if you don't remember) on to the shore. "Ahoy mateyz!" he shouted just as Zuko beached his raft and ran towards Jack. Jack in turn hid behind the fainted Katara.

(: omg, now the song that's on is Weezer: we are all on drugs. Isn't that the Aang Gang's theme song? Lol, sorry, back to the story:)

Katara woke up, took one look at Jack and fainted. Sokka growled at Jack. He jumped and hid behind Aang. (The following happened soo quickly, so it is one very long, creepy sentence) Zuko tackled Aang by accident, Jack ran into the big machine bleeper dude, who accidentally set off the alarm (: which were very disturbing sounds, mind you:), which meant Iroh was turned on and started dancing hula with Momo, and that made Sokka realize what Zuko and Aang were doing, then he took the diary, whacked everyone so they got out of their trances and woke Katara up, and Sokka beat the hell out of the big bleeper machine, which means I have to pay for it (:God! I wasn't even doing anything:). Sokka collapsed from exhaustion. Zuko picked up his battered diary and cradled it in his arms and whispered…HE WHISPERED TO AN INANIMATE OBJECT!

Aang looked dreamily into the sunset (:twitch twitch:) for a reason… I have no will to tell you, but the most disturbing thing was that when Katara made eye contact with Jack, they both started to drool. I dropped down on the sand and started to laugh hysterically.

"God, what's wrong with her?" said Sokka, after a long growl at Jack. Everyone shook their heads, got up, and skipped off together (: I mean, Zuko, Iroh, Momo, the turtle, Sokka, Katara hand in hand with the burnt Jack, Aang, the big machine bleeper dude, and the paddle fish. I was dieing laughing.:)

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"YOO-HOO! ZUKO HONEY! COME AND GIVE KAYLA A HUG!" (:o.O:) Zuko realized Kayla was speeding towards him, and started to run. It was a nice image, Kayla chasing Zuko into the sunset, leaving a sand cloud for the others to choke on, with me going hysterical in the foreground. Ahh…

This is the end of Story 1 in the book of the untitled.

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A very short part, huh? My side still hurts. Well, the end is the end…………………………………..in most cases, but not in the Book of The Untitled! I wonder…. Ewww…Jack and Katara….

Oh, by the way, Kayla is 14 (almost 15) with shoulder-length dark brown hair with obsessions with: Zuko, Kakashi, and Hiei. Funny huh?

If you have any suggestions for the next story, please tell me! Hey! Zuko left his diary here! (:sly look:) I can incorporate that into my next story…. Hmm… (:raised eybrow:) heheheh.

HAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHA (: The Mandark laugh if you don't know :XP:)

Oh, my next story is out! Enjoy the randomness!

-Shrakura


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